Shaddup Already!
2005-05-12
Apparently I'm defensive all the time
Coversation in office of science-teacherlady (STL) and Thing 2 (T2):
STL: You know, I don't understand some of these parents, when they receive a truancy notice, but they still let their kids stay home all the time.
Me: I think they just want to take care of their kids and do what's best for them. They probably think, "what if Joe-Bob is really sick and I send him to school and he has to suffer because I can't be called at work."
T2: Come on! You're not sick unless you're throwing up or bleeding!
Me: Not necessarily. I'm probably going to get a little defensive here-
T2: You're always defensive, Michelle (laughs)
Me:(ignoring initial comment for the time being)When I was sick for the last five years in school there were times I couldn't get out of bed. Or I'd get ready for school and that would wear me out. And I was really sick.
T2: Did you like school?
Me: Not once I got sick, no.
T2: See!
Me: I was truly sick, I had the test results to prove it.
T2: I'm on your side. I'm saying that once you get in the habit of missing school, it's hard to start going back.
Me: (breathing deeply--my chronic eppstein-barr syndrome is a touchy subject for me--especially when people start blowing it all off as psychological) You said I was defensive all the time--when am I defensive?
T2: You're always defensive.
Me: Give me an example.
T2: All this week.
Me: Yeah, I have been defensive this week that's because I've been angry about the whole awards ceremony.
T2: Why?
Me: Because you made a mistake* and I've been having to field the phone calls. And you never apologized.
T2: (whiny, middle school voice) I said 'sorry' (said in that huffy way that indicates you're trying to placate someone, but you aren't really willing to invest anything in doing so) and how many phone calls did you have to take. You spoke to E's mom and who else?
Me: I took several calls on Friday before you even got here and then several on Monday morning. It kept interrupting my class. Then when I told you, you responded, "Oh well." No apology.
T2: I said "sorry" then I said "oh well" because there isn't anything I could do about it.
Me: I never heard you say sorry (in fact, I was listening for it, so I know she didn't say it--she made excuses and did anything she could to keep from taking an iota of responsibility)
So when else have I been defensive.
T2: I don't know.
I believe that Thing 2 has the maturity level of a kindergartner. After this "apology" thing, the initial screw-up and now making a blanket statement that I'm "always" defensive, when in fact I have only been defensive this past week. And to top it off, I would refer to it as snippy, not defensive. She's being defensive, IMO.
Now I'm showing my maturity, I guess. At least I can apologize when I make a mistake. Hell, I've been apologizing for her mistake for two days now.
* Thing 2 was in her hyper-force speed, triple A personality and printed up and sent out invitations for our awards breakfast that had the wrong date on them. She probably had Thing 1 proof them and she would have said, "They're fine, they're fine!" STL and I never saw them in advance of me receiving several angry calls on Friday. The breakfast is tomorrow, 5/13, she put 5/6. Her response, "It said to RSVP by 5/11, couldn't they figure it out?"
