Shaddup Already!


Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be. . .

. . .whiney-loser-butts.

Background information:
Wednesday/Thursday--block day, spend each class period discussing fairy tales, reading Lon Po Po (Chinese version of Little Red Riding Hood), compare and contrast with American version, go over how lessons are taught through fairy tales, assign writing of modern day fairy tale teaching a modern day lesson, first draft due on Friday

Friday--ask how many people have their first draft, see about 10% of most classes raise hands, go over directions for fairy tales again, pair off students who are done to give peer feedback, unprepared students work on fairy tales, second draft due on Tuesday

Monday--out *ahem* sick, leave notes on adjectives with sub, homework listed on board about having second copy of fairy tale on Tuesday

Tuesday--decide to review adjectives, assert that copies of fairy tales MUST be done by Wednesday/Thursday, go over directions for fairy tales again

Wednesday--more students have fairy tales done, some still not prepared, prepared students begin creating their picture books, while unprepared students are chained to their desks, unable to talk, until they get their stories finished

Third Period--pretty decent class over all. There are a couple of students who are hopelessly immature and babied by their parents. Because "Mommy" isn't in class with them, they are virtually unable to follow directions. One of these students, J, has become beligerant in addition to dense, slow and aggravating to a fault.

Me: If you have your fairy tale, raise your hand. J, do you have your fairy tale?

J: Yeah, it's right here (holds up story map--completely different assignment)

Me: That's your story map, do you have your fairy tale?

J: No

Me: You'll have to work on it in class today.

J:What was it? What were we supposed to do again?

Me: I have been discussing and explaining this assignment for a week now, I will not explain it to you again. You'll need to find out from a classmate what to do.

(J goes and, miracle of miracles, writes his fairy tale. Comes and gets the paper for the book)

J: Can I staple these together?

Me: No, we're going to bind them in a day or two, staples won't work.

J: Unh, I'll lose it. Can't I staple it?

Me: Put it in a folder and it will stay together, you may not staple it.

J: Wha, just one, I mean two, staples, what would that hurt?

Me: We are going to bind the books in a particular way, you may not staple it (gives stern look)

J: Come on, I don't see why I can't just staple it.

Me: (gives stern look)

J: Can I staple this?

Me: (gives stern look, raises one eyebrow)

J: (turns away) Can I take that as a yes?

Me: (boring laser beams into back of head until he turns around to see my stern look, raised eyebrow magnified 10 times)

I had no question in my mind that he understood that he was not to staple his paper. This is further evidenced by him staying away from the stapler.

20 minutes later, as the class is cleaning up, he walks over to my desk, takes the stapler and staples the paper.

Me: J!

J: (sulks back to desk, muttering something)

Me: J, bring me your planner

J: (ignores me)

Me: J, bring me your planner NOW!

J: (brings up his planner) This is so stupid, why can't I just staple a stupid assignment? I can't believe this.

Me: (write note to mom outlining incident and his utter defiance) Get this signed by Friday

J: Yeah, this is so stupid.

(J picks up a dictionary under the pretense of putting it away. Walks around and eventually play-swings it at another student's head)

Me: J! What are you doing?!?

J: What? I didn't do nothing? Gawd!
D: We were just playing

Me: I don't care, both of you sit down, NOW!

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