Shaddup Already!


Unappreciative cats

Now that the F.S.I. is over and I've had a chance to calm down, I'd like to tell the story that led up to this.

I don't have outdoor kitties. I know they're safer indoors, plus they won't terrorize local wildlife (in theory). However, I recognize the strong desire to be outdoors, so I allow them on my screened in porch. I crack open the door so they can go in and out as they please; that is, as long as the burglars aren't using my unlocked and ajar door.

Lately, I have been graced by the presence of a beautiful red-shouldered hawk, of course, I've never seen an ugly red-shouldered hawk, but that's a different story. Anyway, this hawk has been sitting outside the sliding glass door that is in my kitchen.

Boo is really excited. I can almost hear his thoughts. He watches, then he howls and thinks, "mmmmm, Thanksgiving dinner!"

After a few weeks of this torture, Boo Radley could take the temptation no longer, so he broke through the screen porch.

I immediately blocked off the porch and brought their litter box back in the house (my least favorite part). Boo walked around sullenly for several days and even peed in a plastic storage box, that was thankfully empty.

I implored my dad to come in and find a solution for my porch. He did. He put painted plywood around the bottom panel of screen. So now I have the metal bottom that came with the screen, then the plywood, then a large portion of screen. . .

. . .that isn't at kitty eye level.

I was thrilled with the new arrangement because all I could think of was stapling chicken wire around. So my dad's idea works much better. Boo was pissed.

My cats were without a porch for a week and a day, I get them their porch back, they bitch and whine and howl for a while, then they bring me a dead snake that was unlucky enough to venture onto the porch. Actually, they didn't bring it to me. Boo was quite possessive over it. Remember, I had to swat him with a broom.

Gee, thanks ever so much.

Why do I have cats again?

Oh, yeah.

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