Shaddup Already!



I know, I know, I've been horrible about writing here. I think part of it is that I'm afraid that I won't be able to keep my blog separate from my regular life. Topeka is really a small town, ironic as that is considering it is also the state capital. Anyway, I fear that I might write something in my blog about school and someone will find it and use it against me. With that kind of pressure, I'd almost rather not write than to have to censor myself so much. Hopefully I can figure something out.

I've had a shitty day today. I've been working at a local vet clinic for the summer. Well I got talked into adopting a dog that had long passed his euthanasia date. He was a beautiful, loving thing. His femur was broken and he was facing some major surgery. His prognosis was quite good. Even with the pain he must have been feeling, he was nothing but loving and gentle. He was only 4 months old and had been through so much in those 4 months. So I agreed to take him. Just yesterday I stopped by the shelter that officially owns him and worked out an arrangement. I talked to my employer and asked him to go ahead with Walter's surgery. I visited him yesterday and he was as sweet and happy as always.

This afternoon I received a call that he had come down with Parvo. Parvo is an insidious viral infection. There is no cure, only supportive care. Even with the supportive treatment it's a crap shoot as to whether the dog will survive. Figuring in Walter's lack of vaccinations, bad leg and massive infestation of worms, his chances of survival were quite slim. So I was asked to make that horrible decision to let him go.

I go back and forth about feeling guilty. I know if it had been Atticus or Dill, I would have treated them. However, they've been vaccinated and are in good health to begin with. They also know that they have a home to come back to. Walter didn't have that. Well, he had a home, but he never knew his home, so his life was spent behind bars. I just couldn't put him through the treatment and days, possibly weeks, of feeling horrible only to (probably) succumb to Parvo.

I can't believe how fully he had worked his way into my heart within 5 days that he was (unofficially) mine. Though he died the property of the humane society, he will be cremated and I will spread his remains in my yard. I just hope he knows that he is coming home.

I did stay with him until the end, petting him and telling him what a good dog he was. He most certainly didn't deserve the crap life dealt him.

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