Shaddup Already!


File This Under TMI

When I was between the ages of 6 and 8, I remember being on a family vacation in Georgia. My mom had piled my sister and I in the car to go somewhere exciting, like maybe the local hog-calling competition or the weekly foot bathing. Did I mention that my relatives live in the sticks of Georgia?

Anyway, the car needed gas and that's something you just can't ignore. The attendant was pumping our gas, because they did things like that back in the good ole days, so this left my mom with some time to people watch.

She looked over at a woman and said:

Girls, I don't care how long you go between shaving your legs, but never get those birdnests under your arms.

Now I can't ever remember my mom commenting on someone's appearance unless it was out of concern. You know, the old "Billy Bob sure is looking tired lately, I hope he's okay." So this seemingly unprovoked comment to her two pre-pubescent daughters really stuck with me.

And I live by it.

I may go a long, long time without shaving my legs, but I shave under my arms every single time I take a shower. If I happen to take a shower twice in one day, I shave both times. It's just something I do and something I blame on that early experience.

Flash forward to this morning.

There I was getting ready for work. I am exceedingly mildly obsessive compulsive. I often find myself, driving to work, checking to see if I remembered to put on deoderant. Today I thought I would get ahead of the game and check before I even put my shirt on.

So I lift my arm and there it was

How did this happen?!? I was aghast. Seriously.

Okay, so maybe it looked more like this

that is entirely beside the point.

The point is that there are a few rogue hairs that have been escaping the triple-blade, lubricating, self-foaming instrument of death.

And from the looks of them, they've been escaping it for a while now.

Ah well, tomorrow they die. Until then, I'm thinking of doing some nest hair styling. Here's my inspiration

What do you think?

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