Shaddup Already!


Professional? Me?

Somehow, when I wasn't looking, maturity snuck up on me and turned me into a professional. While I don't feel any different--frankly, I have the same insecurities that I had in high school--people are treating me as though I have special knowledge and can offer guidance in a particular area.


When the hell did that happen?!?

Every once in a while I have flashes of the grown-up I've become, but lately they've been coming at me with the reckless abandon of a drunken teenager.

The other night I was asked to speak to the parents of the incoming 6th graders about the language arts curriculum. Excuse me? Curriculum? That sounds really important and professional.

Not only was I asked to speak, I didn't know until the day before if I was going to be speaking to the parents of our incoming Pre-IB students or our incoming magnet students. And yet, I have a supposed expertise in both areas.

I was hit full in the face as I was walking down the aisle of our performance hall, which was about 1/3 of the way full of parents scattered about making it seem like a lot more.

I walked by a group of parents and I caught that familiar look that I used to get when I wore my red and khakis and went to work at Target. The "Oh, she works here," look. Except now it was filled with expectation.

And it was coming from parents! They expect me to be a professional, not the 16 year old I feel like! Hell!

Far be it from the performer in me to laugh in the face of a captive audience, so I got up and gave a little talk about ways parents could help their kids' reading and writing skills. And they were listening! It was as if someone really knowledgeable was talking! And it was me!

Can I say it again? Hell!

Then today I had two guests in my classroom. They're from two local middle schools that are going to be starting pre-IB programs in their own schools. And they were asking me questions! Like I would know the answer!


All I have to say is, when did this happen and when will I start getting professional pay? 'Cuz right now, I get paid less than a babysitter.

Teachers Salaries By Anonymous Contributor

I'm fed up with teachers and their hefty salary guides. What we need here is a little perspective. If I had my way, I'd pay these teachers myself...I'd pay them Babysitting wages. That's right. Instead of paying these outrageous taxes, I'd give them $3.00 an hour out of my own pocket. And I'm only going to pay them for five hours, not coffee breaks. That would be $15.00 a day. Each parent should pay $15 a day for these teachers to babysit their children. Even if they have more than one child, it's still cheaper than private day care. Now, how many children do they teach in a day, maybe twenty? That's $15 X 20 = $300 a day. But remember they only work 180 days a year! I'm not going to pay them for all those vacations. $300 X180 = $54,000. (Just a minute, I think my calculator needs batteries.) I know you teachers will say, "What about those who have ten years of experience and a Master's degree?" Well, maybe, (just to be fair) they could get the minimum wage, and instead of just babysitting, they could read the kids a story. We can round that off to about $5.00 an hour, times 5 hours, times 20 children...$5.00 X 5 X 20. That's $500 a day times 180 days. That's $90,000. HUH? Wait a minute...! Let's get a little perspective here. Babysitting wages are too good for those teachers. Did anyone see a salary guide around here???!!!

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