Shaddup Already!
2006-02-09
You know you're an English teacher when. . .
. . .you have a sudden urge to correct the graffiti on the bathroom wall.
I long to take my bright red Sharpie and fix the gratuitous errors in grammar and spelling that face me in the stall. See, the students' bathroom is closer than the faculty bathroom. So when I only have a second or so to go (you understand this if you're a teacher), I choose the closest location.
First I'd like to comment on the beautifully complex psyche of a peri-pubescent girl. I chuckle every time I think of the stall that contains the following:
I wanna fuck davonte
and right next to it is:
I love SpongeBob
How cute is that?
So back to the proofreading:
Mr. Security Guard is a big, fat ManHoe
this should read "manho'" A hoe is a garden implement and Mr. Security Guard looks nothing like a stick-thin hoe
your stupid
My stupid what? You really want to use the contraction "you're" here.
Mrs. AP suck Mrs. Other AP dick
Where do I start with this one? First, that should be Mr. Other AP. Then you need to add a possessive apostrophe 's' on that second AP. Finally, your verb does not agree with your subject. I think you meant to insult both of the APs, so it would be wrong in the imperative form that you have written it in. Don't tell her to suck his dick, make her suck his dick. You're the author--own your words! Make them work for you.
