Shaddup Already!
2005-08-22
Do people really believe?
This morning I had a visit from Mr. L. He was bearing a magazine article, clipped from the prestigious and reliable periodical called "Weekly World News." It was about a rat girl. This girl is half human and half rat. Yep. Intellectual reading if ever I've seen it.
Mr. L: I found another article for you.
Me: Thanks.
Mr. L: They found her shivering in an attic.
See, last year he brought me an article about a hamster who had inherited a fortune. He was so rich, in fact, that he had his own chauffer to run in his wheel for him. As Mr. L has exclaimed many times, "He even wears a little uniform!"
So I went over to K's room after the visit from Mr. L.
Me: Mr. L brought me this article.
K: (laughs) I think he likes you.
Me: Don't even joke about that!
K: Seriously, he's got a crush on you!
Later, at lunch T joined us.
K: T, wait till you hear this. Guess who has a crush on Michelle!
T: Mr. T? (a pretty old Greek man who tells the same stories over and over again like someone's grandfather)
Me: That would be so much better!
K: Mr. L! He keeps bringing Michelle articles about rats and stuff.
Me: The man is truly strange.
T: He's not bad looking.
Me: The man is truly bizarre. I think he believes these stories he give me.
T: Well, I don't know him as a person, but he is kind of cute.
Me: He believes articles about ratgirls and rich hamsters! He's weird!
I take the article over to T after lunch. She glances at it and gets a worried look on her face.
T: I know people say they believe in these stories, but you don't think anyone actually believes it, do you?
Me: I think he (nod head in general direct of Mr. L's room) does.
T: People don't really believe it, come on.
Me: I really think he does.
I go back to K and my side of the hallway and show K another picture next to the article. It's a photo of a man wearing a suit of nuts (I'm not joking here, although it would be great fodder for some one-liners) that is obviously drawn in. So it's a real guy with hand drawn nuts all over him and two super-imposed squirrels sitting on his shoulders.
Me: How could anyone believe that?
K: Well, he does buy the magazine.
Me: He probably has a subscription.
K: I know people who read it at the grocery store, but he buys it.
Me: I've bought one or two, but strictly for the humor of the ridiculous stories.
K: You know, he likes you.
Me: You're evil!
So, weigh in here, do any of you think people actually believe the stories in the tabloids? And I'm not talking about the reasonably believeable ones, I'm talking about girls with a rat head, tail and feet. Or a rich hamster with a rodent chauffer.