Shaddup Already!


Do people really believe?

This morning I had a visit from Mr. L. He was bearing a magazine article, clipped from the prestigious and reliable periodical called "Weekly World News." It was about a rat girl. This girl is half human and half rat. Yep. Intellectual reading if ever I've seen it.

Mr. L: I found another article for you.

Me: Thanks.

Mr. L: They found her shivering in an attic.

See, last year he brought me an article about a hamster who had inherited a fortune. He was so rich, in fact, that he had his own chauffer to run in his wheel for him. As Mr. L has exclaimed many times, "He even wears a little uniform!"

So I went over to K's room after the visit from Mr. L.

Me: Mr. L brought me this article.

K: (laughs) I think he likes you.

Me: Don't even joke about that!

K: Seriously, he's got a crush on you!

Later, at lunch T joined us.

K: T, wait till you hear this. Guess who has a crush on Michelle!

T: Mr. T? (a pretty old Greek man who tells the same stories over and over again like someone's grandfather)

Me: That would be so much better!

K: Mr. L! He keeps bringing Michelle articles about rats and stuff.

Me: The man is truly strange.

T: He's not bad looking.

Me: The man is truly bizarre. I think he believes these stories he give me.

T: Well, I don't know him as a person, but he is kind of cute.

Me: He believes articles about ratgirls and rich hamsters! He's weird!

I take the article over to T after lunch. She glances at it and gets a worried look on her face.

T: I know people say they believe in these stories, but you don't think anyone actually believes it, do you?

Me: I think he (nod head in general direct of Mr. L's room) does.

T: People don't really believe it, come on.

Me: I really think he does.

I go back to K and my side of the hallway and show K another picture next to the article. It's a photo of a man wearing a suit of nuts (I'm not joking here, although it would be great fodder for some one-liners) that is obviously drawn in. So it's a real guy with hand drawn nuts all over him and two super-imposed squirrels sitting on his shoulders.

Me: How could anyone believe that?

K: Well, he does buy the magazine.

Me: He probably has a subscription.

K: I know people who read it at the grocery store, but he buys it.

Me: I've bought one or two, but strictly for the humor of the ridiculous stories.

K: You know, he likes you.

Me: You're evil!

So, weigh in here, do any of you think people actually believe the stories in the tabloids? And I'm not talking about the reasonably believeable ones, I'm talking about girls with a rat head, tail and feet. Or a rich hamster with a rodent chauffer.

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