Shaddup Already!


Thing 1 becomes Super Control Freak!

I believe Thing 1 actually wears a spandex suit under her regular clothes so she can duck in to a phone booth and quickly change into Super Control Freak.

This woman is amazing.

Here is the list of controlling, obnoxious things she's done lately:

1. she looked through the list of the classes kids had signed up for and changed several students from regular language arts to advanced language arts.

*ahem* When the hell did you start teaching them language arts? How the hell do you know how they're doing in language arts? You are a control freak!

2. she offered (vehemently) to allow students to sign up for field trip groups in her room, then she accosted the teacher planning the field trip to tell her that there were some problem groups.

*ahem* Why did you allow students to sign up for "problem groups?" Since when has this become a national emergency that requires T to drop absolutely everything so she can start doing something that you will take over anyway? If getting the groups together was such a burden, why the hell did you insist that you do it?

3. This afternoon she asked me if I had the list of the classes the students had signed up for. She wanted to know if I reviewed the list and made any changes because she is insisting on talking to these students herself. When I said the list was still in my portable, she got huffy.

*ahem* I was on my way out of the building. Some people don't operate in overdrive 100% of the time and some of us are there so early in the morning we don't feel the need to stay longer.

4. We had to have an awards ceremony for our kids. Thing one wants my individual list of awards so she can type them up on the certificates. I tell her that the list is also in my portable. She turns into martyr of the year and states, "Oh, that's okay (which it clearly wasn't okay), I'll just do yours tomorrow then. (insert sigh)"

*ahem* I didn't want to do the fucking awards in the first place because I knew it would become some fucking drama somewhere with a certain control freak. Yet, I went along, was a team player. The last I heard, Thing One was going to get the certificates to each of us and we were going to do our own. Thanks for changing the rules on me and then having the fucking nerve to get mad because I want to fucking go home, you bitch.

Excuse me, I got carried away.

Oh yeah, all three of my team members wanted a perfect attendance award. I started to argue against it because I don't believe we have a student who has perfect attendance:

Me: I'm not sure about the perfect attendance award because--

Thing 2: Oh, we have to have a perfect attendance award. We just need to check with guidance, it won't be any work for us.

Everyone nods in agreement with the general dismissivness that I get from my team members quite frequently--then they steal my ideas and use them as their own.

So the next week the team starts talking about how we probably don't have a student with perfect attendance.

Thing 2: Maybe S.C. I don't remember her being absent.

Me: She's tardy to my class every day.

Thing 1: But she's there.

Me: I have a definite problem with giving a "perfect attendance" award to someone who can't make it to class on time.

My one friend on the team: I agree, tardies should disqualify her.

A few days after that, we were eating lunch when Thing 1 brought up the perfect attendance award again.

Me: Well, did you check with N about who might have been here every day?

Thing 1: I sent her an email. You know what, why don't you ask all your classes. Try to find out if any student has been here every day.

Me: I will if I remember.

Thing 1: (gets huffy)Remembering is difficult. Maybe I'll do it myself (martyrish sigh).

Me: Did N email you back?

Thing 1: No

Me: Why don't we just wait to see if N responds?

Thing 1: Don't worry, I'll get it done (big sigh) I don't know when, but I'll ask.

Me: Fuck you bitch.

Okay, I didn't say the last, but I really wanted to. This school year cannot end soon enough and if Thing 2 doesn't end up on another team, I don't know what I'll do. I'm not sure I can handle another year of them being a team of 2 and forgetting the other two. I'm also not sure I can handle them bringing about the triple A personalities in each other, not to mention the control thing.

I asked for Thing 2's job because she wants a different job. She hates the 6th grade geography curriculum. I want to teach 6th grade geography. It would be ideal. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Meanwhile, I may have to start dressing in spandex and calling myself The Martyr Patrol!

My battle cry will be "There are no victims! You asked for it, you got it! You have no right to manipulate people's feelings because you signed on for too much! Stop acting like my mother!"

Did I mention my mom is a bit of a martyr? I'm a little sensitive to that trait in other people. It doesn't make me feel guilty, but it irritates the hell out of me.

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