Shaddup Already!


Lack of sleep apparently makes me cranky.

I had to go back to work today. This meant getting up sometime before the sun and actually going further than the bathroom. I was not a happy camper. Primarily because I wasn't camping, but beyond that it is because I didn't get much sleep last night.

It seems that if one spends two weeks timing one's internal body clock onto the perfect vacation schedule, said body will not immediately understand the implications of "returning to work" and "needing actual sleep."

So after many hours of trying to get to sleep, I stumbled out of bed and sat at the computer frantically seeking answers from various online Magic 8 Balls. The questions were, of course, "Will I ever get to sleep?" and "Will I be able to wake up tomorrow morning?"

I kept receiving answers like, "Not likely," and "outlook not good." I was really desperate when I finally got the "yes" I was looking for.


So then I went to bed, fell asleep and woke up when my alarm went off approximately five minutes later. I exagerrate, but only slightly.


School was uneventful, other than I got two new students in one day. I did find out that my least favorite student is transferring to the upper middle class school down the road a bit. I have two issues with this:

1. I won't fully believe it until I see it.

2. I honestly don't think they will keep her very long because she is about as street-wise, loud and smart-assy as they come.


And can I just say something without looking like an evil, cold-hearted bitch? Okay, I don't care what I look like, I'm gonna say it anyway. Some of my students are, how shall I put this? um, so stupid they couldn't find their way out of a paper bag.

Now I can deal with low IQ. That is something that people can't do anything about. Those kids don't get how to do simple math problems or write a complete sentence. What I'm talking about is utter stupidity.

Let's take a glimpse at my day, shall we?:

TeacherLady (TL): Some of you have developed businesses for math class. If you haven't, make one up to answer these questions.

StupidStudent1(SS1):What's math?

TL: That class that has the numbers. Okay, so your first question is this, "What is your business?" You do not need to write down the question, just answer in a complete sentence. For example, you answer should start with, "My business is..."

SS1: I don't have a business.

TL: Make one up. If you could have any business that you wanted, what would it be?

SS1: I don't have a business.

TL: No shit, make one up.

SS2: Do we have to write the question?

SS1: What do I do if I don't have a business?

SS3: What's a business?

TL: Just copy the notes, we'll figure the rest out in a bit.

SS1: I can't copy the notes, I don't have a business.

SS3: I can't copy the notes because I'm thinking.

SS2: Do we have to copy the notes?


So I just went off on a bad teacher tangent. Forgive me or not, I don't care :o)

I was going to tell you all about my hospitalized neighbor. She shall heretoforth be known as CrazyNeighborLady or CNL.


I talked to CNL yesterday and reminded her that I was going back to work today.

When I got home today there were two messages on the machine from her. The caller ID showed the hospital's number both times.

The first message went something like this:

"Michelle, call me at home as soon as you can. It's 11:00 and it's very important that I talk to you ASAP."

The second message was a little more desperate and sounded like this:

"This message is for Michelle (there is a mechanical voice that answers my phone for me) I really need her to call me at home as soon as possible (we hear muttering in the background and CNL returns to talking to my mechanical man) You can call me at this number ***-***-****. As you well know I'm in the hospital and I'm about to kill my son."

Now I'm thinking the lady has gone around the bend and is thinking dipshit is her son.

I was just about to call her when the phone rings. Guess who.

TL: Hi CNL, I was just about to call you. I just walked in the door.

CNL: Oh good.

TL thinking "not good, it's nearly 6:00pm and I just walked in the fucking door."

CNL: I'm about to kick my son to the curb. Can you take my dog for a day or two?

TL: I have to work. I'm gone all day.

CNL: That's alright, you can give me a key to your house and I'll use my electric scooter to come over and let her out.

TL: You're still in the hospital, when are you getting out?

CNL: Tomorrow probably.

TL hears the now familiar voice in the background saying that CNL doesn't know when they will release her from the hospital and then CNL talks about rooms, how she's going to have the small room until they open up a big room for her.

TL: I have the cats here.

CNL: That's okay, Sophie is good with cats (like she would frickin' know because she is allergic to cats, thus the dog has never been around them to CNL's knowledge)

TL: What about Cami?

CNL: Who?

TL: Cami, the dog you tell me you adore all the time? The dog that Sophie growls at and hides from anytime Cami gets near her little Shitzu butt.

CNL: They'll get along fine.

TL: I'm really not comfortable with keeping Sophie here. Isn't there anyone else who can take care of her? What about dipshit?

CNL: He's leaving.

TL: He's leaving?!? When?

CNL: I don't know, I'm trying to just do my own thing here and I'm about to throw *insert son's name* out with the trash.

TL: That's your son, right?

CNL: Yes.

TL: Well is he here?

CNL: No, he's still in Mass.

TL: When will he get here?

CNL: Tonight, maybe tomorrow.

TL: Look, I can go over to your house and let Sophie out, but I'm just not comfortable with keeping her at my house. Plus I'm gone from 7:00am until 5:30-6:00pm.

CNL: That's okay, I'll just use my scooter and come over and let her out.

TL: You're confusing me. I said I would let her out at your house, why do you need to come over here?

CNL: I don't know, I'm confused too.

TL: Look, call me when you figure out what's going on and tell me what I need to do.

CNL: Okay, you're an angel. God will truly bless you.


So then I went on with some things I needed to do, one of which was to make a phone call. I was on this important phone call when call waiting buzzed in. Guess who.

I didn't pick it up because I was taking care of something I needed to take care of desperately. Selfish me, I suppose.

So after I got off my phone call, I called the hospital. The line was busy.

I made dinner (about 2 hours later than I'm used to eating) and called the hospital while my pizza was nuking.

The line was still busy.

I ate my pizza.

I called the hospital.

The line was still busy.

Now I'm sitting here thinking that I need to take a shower, but I can't because I need to get a hold of CNL to figure out what's going on. She is the type that would expect me to take the dog out and I really want to make sure the dog is taken care of. I like Sophie. She's awfully cute and sweet. I just don't want her in my house.


Okay, I just tried the hospital again. Apparently if you keep calling, Vera will get sick of you and transfer you the nurses' station and they will get you an audience with your patient friend.

I'm really getting concerned about CNL, but I must control my urge to fix it all. She has family and she can do a lot herself. She just seems a little confused.

Anyway, I still don't know if I'm supposed to let Sophie out tonight or not. Someone named Wally is supposed to bring me a key to her house, but I don't know when or if he will even be able to get one.

I did not sign up for this little soap opera, thank you very much. Remind me the next time I move that I should not become friendly with any neighbors because neighbors suck.

Oh, CNL is moving into an assisted living facility with her dog. Of course she has said this before, so I'll believe it when I see it.

Help end world hunger