Shaddup Already!


I'm ba-ack!

I got my power back!


Forget my two front teeth, all I want for Christmas is reliable power in a storm.

I spent the night at my sister's house last night. I just couldn't handle the heat any longer, not to mention the smell--that was me who smelled, BTW. I was lying in bed on Tuesday night, sweating profusely, trying to figure out where the stink was coming from. Do you know how bad it is when you realize you are the cause of the stink, so there will be no escaping it? It ain't pretty, my friend. On top of that I'm still nursing my cold, so I had that sickly sinusy smell that is so lovely.

Anyway, I went to my sister's house last night and spent quality time with my nephews. My older nephew "taught" me how to play Harry Potter on the X-box and my younger nephew caused me worry this morning that stole precious sleep.

Gage, the young'un, came out to the living room where I was asleep on one of the couches. This was at about 2:00am. He went relatively quietly to the other couch and laid down. Now I don't know if he wanted to be near me (maybe) or he wanted to watch the cartoons I had left on the TV (probably), but he crashed out there.

In a very sleepy state, I wondered if I should take him back to his room. I decided that this was a bad idea because it would require movement on my part.

So, instead, I decided to worry about him. This is a very soft, plush couch with lots of pillows. So my sleep deprived mind convinced myself that this was an unsafe place for Gage to sleep. I thought he might drown in the couch or smother under a pillow. You know, those common, everyday occurances. This caused me to wake approximately every 20-30 minutes to make sure I could see him breathing. He breathed, I slept--a little.

I woke up at 5:00 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I had asked my sister to wake me when she got up at 6:00 (since I didn't have an alarm clock) so I settled in for an hour of non-sleep while I waited for the rest of the house to get up. At about 5:59 (and 59 seconds), I fell asleep. This meant my sister had to wake me and when she did, I nearly had a heart attack, which caused my sister to nearly have a heart attack.

I was sitting on the couch, trying to decide if I really wanted to move or if this was all a bad dream and I didn't really need to go to work. From the bedroom I hear my brother in law turn on the TV and then say, "Oh shit!" I knew immediately that it had to do with Ivan. For some reason, I have hurricane on the brain these days. At any rate, I found out that Ivan was headed straight for us. Oh goodie.

I dressed quickly and went back to my house to check on my kitties. I had moved all the other animals to my mom's house a day or two ago and then I left my porch door open for the cats to get out in the fresh air. I figured since the early news of the day was bad, I still wouldn't have electricity.

As I was driving into my subdivision, I noticed that the lights on the left side of the street were on. My hope rose. I took my first turn and saw more lights--I had to take a deep breath just to keep myself in my car instead of running directly to my house. I took my second turn and saw more lights. Oh, it was a beautiful moment. I took the turn into my cul-de-sac and saw lights everywhere! I cannot tell you how my heart sang with joy. Literally, I had to tell it to shut up.

So I rushed in the house to greet my cats, who would naturally be overjoyed by having power again. I opened the door and noticed that the cats missed me so much that they were asleep on the porch. So I danced around the house, turning on all the lights. Then I opened the refrigerator and sang into the cavernous, cold box with the light ever so gently highlighting my delicate features.

The cats managed to overcome their enthusiasm and came inside to say hi. Here's how that conversation went:

Booger Boy (the spokescat): Oh, it's you.

Teacherlady: Hi Booger, Scoutie-pie--we have electricity.

Booger Boy: Food? Did you say food?

Teacherlady: Electricity, electricity (sung to the tune of the old School House Rock Song--remember those?)

Booger Boy: Food! Now! You allowed the bowl to get half empty you wench. I need food!

Teacherlady: I'm gonna shut the porch door so the house cools down even more.

Booger Boy: Don't!

Scout: You can't make me stay in this house!

Booger Boy: Goddamned Electricity!

Both cats ran for the door before I could get it shut. They managed to run out on the porch and squeak under some porch furniture. I was not going to be deterred, I grabbed them both by their tails and pulled them out. They were forced back into the house, kicking, screaming and clawing. Poor things.


I cannot believe that Ivan may hit here. I don't generally use profanity, I just don't feel comfortable letting it roll off my fingertips (although it frequently rolls off my tongue). So this next statement may be a shock for Teacherlady readers. I apologize in advance for any delicate psyches that I might have corrupted by my use of potty language.

This whole hurricane thing is fucking insane.

I have come to the conclusion that I don't mind the hurricanes. I'm no longer afraid of the howling winds or rain sloshing under a couple of doors. What I am afraid of is the aftermath.

It sucks.

Although there is an element of the unknown in it. It's kind of fun to drive around see which power lines got knocked down or which roads are blocked by trees or what establishments have power. The latter largely determines your meals for the next couple of days, unless you're like me and put together a stock of canned boiled peanuts and oatmeal creme pies.

All the excitement aside, I'm not sure how we will get through another hurricane. I suppose we will, much to the credit of people all over the country that are coming help us clean up. However, I worry. Right now I'm worrying about how I'm going to get to school tomorrow with the amount of gas I have in my tank and number of gas stations on my way that actually have gas (that would equal 0). If I had more gas in my car, I could drive around and find a gas station to fill up at. Oh, the irony.

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