Shaddup Already!


feeling better

I'm feeling better now. I found some imodium and then I took the dog swimming. That all helped to calm me down.

Thanks hissandtell for the note. I appreciate it :o) It's funny because I have no problem drawing the line when people tell me how to live my life, but when it comes to my self-image, I can't seem to do it. I think right now I've exposed all sorts of nerves and I have become hyper-vigilant about allowing people to hurt me. I have to trust that this is all part of the process and it too will pass.

I'm kind of interested to see a certain person tomorrow. I don't even know if she'll be there. We ended last school year not on the best of terms.

She got mad at me and was just going to give me the cold shoulder. However, that's not the way I deal with things. I believe in getting things out in the open, so I went and confronted her. I wanted to know what I had done to piss her off.

She came up with a recent incident and then went on to say that I can be snippy. Well, yeah, I know I'm snippy. I'm very well aware of that and I'm okay with it. My thought is that if it bothered her, she needed to tell me. Anyway, she goes on to say that she tried very hard to be my friend--for my sake--but she was finding it difficult.

Once she had all this out in the open, she acted like nothing happened and we were the best of friends again.

I'm sorry, if it's such a chore to be my friend, don't. I never asked her to try so hard to be my friend and I'm not hard up for friends.

I suspect she will act as though nothing happened. Me, I'm going to be civil and respectful, but I don't want to burden her with my friendship any longer, so I'll just keep my snippy little self away from her.

On the funny side, I took my goofy loaner dog (teacherlady), Cami, swimming at my parents' house. She is a golden retriever, so you can imagine she really loves the water. Today she started climbing onto this float and relaxing. It was like she discovered she could be in the water and not have to work. It was nirvana.

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